Archive for August 2008

Want some candy, child??

Working at my church is like having 25 grandmas.

Add a comment August 27, 2008

Sorry, we’re down-sizing…

We just moved into a new apartment this weekend.  Our old apartment had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a decent-sized kitchen, living room, and dining room, and a bunch of closets and storage.  This apartment has 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, a tiny kitchen, living room and dining room, and almost no storage.  Because of all this down-sizing, a bunch of my possessions have been laid off.  

The department experiencing the greatest loss is that of my clothes.  I hate to say that the clothes who have been with the company for years are being replaced by newer, fresher ones.  And yes, we are discriminating based on how pretty the clothes are. There is no longer room for ugly, homely, or imperfect clothing in our closet anymore.  We are also shifting clothes from their previously spacious cubicles to those of a much smaller, more cramped size.

While the move has been uncomfortable, it’s also been a good opportunity to shed some of the items that were cluttering my life.  But I have to say, I’m going to miss the torn up jeans from sophomore year of high school that I no longer wear but keep around because they remind me of when I had a nice butt.

Add a comment August 26, 2008

Quick! Somebody call an ambliance!!

Title speaks for itself.  The other day, a girl said “ambliance” instead of “ambulance”.  It was hilariously sad.  Or sadly hilarious.  Anyway, it was funny.

2 comments August 21, 2008

Grown-Up Angst

I subbed for an after-school care class at my old school yesterday.  I was in charge of the second graders.  Within minutes, one of the little girls asked me “Are you a teenager or a grown-up?”.  And I had this feeling like there was something really clever to be said, but 1. I couldn’t think of anything in time, and 2. Whatever I might have thought of would probably not be appropriate to say to a second-grader.  So I told her I was a grown-up.

Later, the same girl asked me this:

Excuse me, but has a boy ever looked at you….and uh….looked into your eyes…eh….and he wa-…and he liked….and he wanted you to be his girlfriend?

It’s been a long time, but, yeah, I’ve had a guy look into my eyes and want me to be his girlfriend.  In fact, the last time that happened, I was a teenager…

On a similar note, about a week ago, I was working in the nursery at my church and I actually wore a dress and straightened my hair (I usually look like “Aw, come on now, you didn’t even try!”).  And this old lady who works there with me said I looked like a teenager.  Then she proceeded to tell me that even though I was “grown up” and married, she bet that the teenage boys still looked at me.

Am I a teenager or a grown-up?

Add a comment August 21, 2008

Substitute America

I applied for a substitute teacher position at my old school a while back and so today I had to attend an orientation for all potential substitutes.  The whole thing was hilarious.  Besides the instructor going on and on about how wonderful the school is, there was this REALLY ancient lady and her equally ancient husband sitting in the front row.  At one point, Mrs. Really Old raised her hand and asked,

“Do you salute the flag here?  Are the children required to ALL stand and salute the flag? – Not like those Cobb County schools…”

Ok, so that’s bad enough all by itself.  I didn’t know whether to laugh or throw up, so I did a little of both.  But wait!  There’s more!  Here was the answer the leader gave:

“Well, yes, we do.  This is a Christian school.”

Soak it in, people!  Soak it in.  *sigh*  I’m so glad I’m an American so that I can go to Heaven.

Add a comment August 15, 2008






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