Posts filed under: ‘Work Life‘

Do you have a floater?

This is how it all started. An administrative assistant appreciation lunch turned into something very wrong when my boss asked his secretary this question after she swung at the air a couple times.  Having little experience with this term, my friend and I looked at each other like “wtf????”.   Sure, it was funny.  But we were holding it together as the “floater conversation” progressed – that is, until our supervisor added “Oh yeah, I have lots of those.”  Both faces hit the napkins and stayed there as we endured comments like “My doctor says that everyone has floaters” and “You swung at them (the floaters) a couple times” and, in regards to the double-meaning of the word, “MY floater was born before YOUR floater.”

Yeah, Joel, that last one was your father.  Come to think of it, all three of those last ones were his.  *sigh*  To put it best, I’ll use the words of my boss’s secretary (who was not familiar with OUR floaters…) “Oh, the floaters?  I’m going to leave those alone.”

2 comments April 23, 2009

April 1st!

My boss is a huge fan of practical jokes.  So when I woke up yesterday, one of my first thoughts was, “he’s going to do something today.”  Well, me and two other co-workers from my department were coming back from the break room.  My friend scanned her card to unlock the door and gave it a nudge to open it.  The look on her face and the fact that she tried to scan her card again let me know that the door wasn’t opening.

Next thing I know, she’s laughing and pointing through the tiny window towards the floor on the other side.  I peek in and see the top of my boss’ pastel shirt as he his kneeling on all fours on the other side of the door.  When we attempt to push it open again, he jumps up, and in his thick, Cuban accent yells “APRIL 1ST!”

Add a comment April 2, 2009

And she’s back!

I took a long break from blogging because I had nothing to say.  But it would seem that I have lots to say now, especially considering that last night my whole life came out my eyes and my poor husband could think of nothing to do but wrap his arms around me and try to stop me up.  So I’m going to blog.  My stress looks better online than it does on my face.

So to start off, an anecdote from the montessori school involving one of my faves Enrique:

Miss Michelle: Tatum, I like your haircut.

Tatum: *staring blankly in silence*

Enrique: Do you like my haircut?

Miss Michelle and Miss Leah simultaneously: You didn’t get a haircut.

Enrique: Yes I am.


Ok, next, after years of wondering how parents could leave their child at school from seven in the morning to six thirty at night, I finally got an answer.  According to a parent that came to pick up her child at 6:15 last night, this is how it happens:

“Oh, she was coughing today?  Well, she did that last night too.  So I was going to pick her up from carpool today.  But then I got busy.  And so I was going to pick her up early from after school care.  But then it got late.  And so here we are!”

Add a comment December 2, 2008

Sitting Duck, Duck, Goose!

As you know, I just started a new job working with after school care.  Yesterday was my second day – and on this day I witnessed my first strategic duck, duck, goose player.  This little four-year-old boy was really into the game.  His strategy?  Don’t goose the fast kids!  Only the slow ones.  Because then they can’t catch you.  He was even instructing other kids who NOT to pick unless they wanted to get tagged.

 His friend was pretty strategic too.  Obviously, he’s already figured out that the fastest route from Point A (the one who is “it”) and Point B (the goose) is a straight line.  So he just ran across the circle and tagged the child running on the other side.  Of course, the teacher put him in the goose pot for cheating, but I thought he was brilliant.  Both of them were brilliant.

1 comment October 8, 2008

She’s got HUGE…tracts of land!

A co-worker of mine went to Yellowstone recently for vacation, and she was telling the rest of us about the scenery and the wildlife.  There were buffalo, deer, and – according to her – “these beautiful elk – with big, big racks; HUGE racks.”  There were hand motions involved.

Anyway, go to Yellowstone if you’d like to see some big, gorgeous racks.

Add a comment September 23, 2008

Want some candy, child??

Working at my church is like having 25 grandmas.

Add a comment August 27, 2008

Quick! Somebody call an ambliance!!

Title speaks for itself.  The other day, a girl said “ambliance” instead of “ambulance”.  It was hilariously sad.  Or sadly hilarious.  Anyway, it was funny.

2 comments August 21, 2008

Hey, Leah, your epidermis is showing…!

I was walking by the receptionist’s desk and she says: “Ooo, I like your blouse.”

I stared at her like a moron because for one terrifying moment, I had no idea what a blouse was.  And then I remembered that a blouse is like a shirt, and that I was wearing one.  So I said thank you.  And then I laughed inside because someone said “blouse” to me.

1 comment July 31, 2008

Candy Man

Thursday was a bless-ed day, going very well,

Until the boss instructed me to sit at Front Desk Hell.

I sat there in the lobby with my chin inside my palm,

Answering the telephone between each stifled yawn.

And then I get a phone call from my friend across the hall.

She’s asking me a question – plus, we really like to talk.

As we chat, I hear a beep I hear most every day.

The slowest elevator known is slowly on its way.

My friend asks one more question as our talk comes to an end.

“Have some t-shirts yet arrived” because her boss is expecting them.

At just this time the elevator doors release a man.

He walks up to my Desk from Hell with a black bag in his hand.

I say “How funny you should ask, the timing can’t be greater!”

“The shirts you asked me for are here – fresh off the elevator!”

But, wait a sec – I know this man!  I recognize his face!

I just cannot remember when we met or in what place.

He asks me all about my life and all the things I’ve done.

He can’t believe how old I am.  I used to be so young!

Who is this man who speaks to me, who knows me oh so well?

We’ve been good friends some time ago.  I know it.  I can tell.

It isn’t till he steps behind the elevator walls

And says to me this very thing that made me then recall

“I haven’t any bubble gum to give you this time, dear.”

I say “It’s quite alright.  But it was nice to have you here.”

The slowest elevator known creeped down to level one.

And I behind my old front desk began to smile some.

I pictured me, a little girl, all dressed for sunday school.

When suddenly I see a jacket red as any jewel!

I take off at a running pace and scream out “Candy Man!”

The friendly fellow reaches out to shake my little hand.

The beauty of this moment as it happens every time

Is once you pull your hand away, a treasure rests inside.

The moment I had scampered off to sit down in the pew

I’d slowly lift my fingers up and marvel at the view.

The Candy Man was special, but the best was yet to come.

For now I held within my hand a piece of bubble gum.

And now that you have wasted time reading what I wrote,

Know that you must thank the man with candy in his coat.

Add a comment April 24, 2008

So sick…

And by sick, I mean disgusting.  Can I just say, it sounds like a freaking hospital in the office today?  I cannot listen to too much more hacking and wheezing before I have to go throw up.

Add a comment February 6, 2008






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