20% of $30 is $1, right??

No!  It’s $6!   Tipping less than 20% is rude, people!  It’s rude!  So just dig deep into your pitiless soul and scrape up the decency to part with an extra five dollar bill.

And Christians!!  Stop embarrassing yourselves and tip 30%, for God’s sake.  You’re the laughing stock of the food industry.

There.  I said it.

Add a comment January 26, 2009

4 down, 7 to go…

There were eleven people in my wedding, six on my side, five on Josh’s.  Since then, the marriage virus has been spreading.  During my engagement, one of my bridesmaids got engaged as well.   Her wedding is in April.  This year, one of my maids of honor has gotten engaged, one of my bridesmaids has gotten married, and one of Josh’s groomsmen has gotten married as well.  That’s four people who are married or engaged now – out of the eleven people in our wedding.  AND two more out of that wedding party are on the verge of engagement.  In fact, it is safe to say that they are unofficially engaged.  So we’re looking at closer to 6/11 at this point.  I like to think of myself as a trail blazer…

1 comment December 2, 2008

And she’s back!

I took a long break from blogging because I had nothing to say.  But it would seem that I have lots to say now, especially considering that last night my whole life came out my eyes and my poor husband could think of nothing to do but wrap his arms around me and try to stop me up.  So I’m going to blog.  My stress looks better online than it does on my face.

So to start off, an anecdote from the montessori school involving one of my faves Enrique:

Miss Michelle: Tatum, I like your haircut.

Tatum: *staring blankly in silence*

Enrique: Do you like my haircut?

Miss Michelle and Miss Leah simultaneously: You didn’t get a haircut.

Enrique: Yes I am.


Ok, next, after years of wondering how parents could leave their child at school from seven in the morning to six thirty at night, I finally got an answer.  According to a parent that came to pick up her child at 6:15 last night, this is how it happens:

“Oh, she was coughing today?  Well, she did that last night too.  So I was going to pick her up from carpool today.  But then I got busy.  And so I was going to pick her up early from after school care.  But then it got late.  And so here we are!”

Add a comment December 2, 2008

Sitting Duck, Duck, Goose!

As you know, I just started a new job working with after school care.  Yesterday was my second day – and on this day I witnessed my first strategic duck, duck, goose player.  This little four-year-old boy was really into the game.  His strategy?  Don’t goose the fast kids!  Only the slow ones.  Because then they can’t catch you.  He was even instructing other kids who NOT to pick unless they wanted to get tagged.

 His friend was pretty strategic too.  Obviously, he’s already figured out that the fastest route from Point A (the one who is “it”) and Point B (the goose) is a straight line.  So he just ran across the circle and tagged the child running on the other side.  Of course, the teacher put him in the goose pot for cheating, but I thought he was brilliant.  Both of them were brilliant.

1 comment October 8, 2008

Declare your style!

Rue 21 (my favie clothing store) just e-mailed me and told me to declare my style (with their clothing, of course).  I want to declare my style so bad!

ps – I just got a part-time job working with preschoolers, so blog posts like THIS won’t be cluttering up my site.  I apologize for the lag in interesting posts.  I’ve been dying a little inside daily and that makes for lame writing.

Add a comment October 1, 2008

Just shove it in

I had the opportunity during a wedding rehearsal to whisper something hilarious to my neighbor.  But I didn’t because my neighbor’s humor convictions were mysterious to me.  So I played it safe by thinking my joke and then thinking a laugh.

Someday, I’m going to re-tell that story as though I actually said it and everyone around me laughed and laughed.  It will be insane!  Someday, it will be insane…

Add a comment September 26, 2008

So, Emmie, this is your life.

I’ve been welcoming a lot of new people into the family recently.  Besides Josh marrying into it, my cousins have all started reproducing.  The newest generation of the family is starting to emerge.  It started a couple years back with a little boy.  Now, this year, three new little girls are showing up one by one.  The second, and newest, addition is Emerson.  She’s about four weeks old by now and adorable as all get out.

But my favorite thing about babies is watching Josh hold them.  So, of course, when we went to a family cook-out, I drug him along so that he could hold Emmie.  He did.  But then she died a little and so he gave her to someone else.  It made for a good picture, though.

Add a comment September 23, 2008

She’s got HUGE…tracts of land!

A co-worker of mine went to Yellowstone recently for vacation, and she was telling the rest of us about the scenery and the wildlife.  There were buffalo, deer, and – according to her – “these beautiful elk – with big, big racks; HUGE racks.”  There were hand motions involved.

Anyway, go to Yellowstone if you’d like to see some big, gorgeous racks.

Add a comment September 23, 2008

Wus Up, Wus Up???

Josh was just doing the Bankhead Bounce.     What?  Oh, it’s this right here.

Add a comment September 14, 2008

Talking Goat (this post is for me)

For maybe the second or third time in my life, I laughed so hard that I actually started crying.

Clarification: Not tearing up – crying.


WARNING: Please ignore the more irreverant parts of this clip.

Add a comment September 9, 2008






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